RECALIBRATE FOR THE NEW YEAR

Clare Lopez
Dec 29, 2025
6 min read

The year is winding down - the Christmas tree is likely looking a little dry. The house is a mess after family visits and holiday gatherings. And it’s around this time of year where my inbox gets flooded with ads for gym memberships and diet drugs. And my social media feed is filled with recap montages and New Year’s resolutions.

Today I’d like to invite you replace the traditional New Year’s resolution with some gentle recalibrating. I want to encourage you to reflect and take stock – and celebrate the wins – and hold space for the very real losses we feel every day we don’t book a role. Let yourself feel all of it. But – before you start writing down goals for the new year I want to hit pause. I want to unpack how problematic traditional actor goals can be and offer some alternatives.

THE PROBLEM WITH TRADITIONAL GOAL SETTING

When I first started my work on mindset work as an actor- I realized that most goals we think we want to set… are not actually achievable. Not because they are impossible – but because we don’t have any control over making them happen. The kinds goals listed below– aren’t really goals. They are wishes – hopes – aspirations. Things the universe will hand us or won’t. And while there are a lot of things we can do to prepare – and work towards as actors – we just do not have control over any of this. We never have.

COMMON ‘ACTOR’ GOALS:

· Land an agent

· Book a TV co-star/guest star

· Land a SAG film

· Work a gig in Atlanta/ LA/ NYC ect

· Get that amazing footage and build a whole new reel

· Make $$$ amount of money with acting

You get the idea. It’s a lot of things everyone would love to accomplish. And yet… none of them are actually within our control. And as my good friend Tony Robinette has said: – we can’t control our bookings; our agent can’t control our bookings and yes – even casting can’t control booking outcomes (they have a say who is invited in – but ultimately its producers / show runners / and directors who get to make the call).

You heard that right. I say this – not to rain on your parade – or douse out your motivation and enthusiasm. But rather – it is my hope that you are able to use all that beautiful energy to re-align – and reconnect with the person you want to be. And focus on showing up more and more as that person.

RE-DEFINING SUCCESS

Okay – I hear you – I am sure you are thinking – okay -so what is the point? Are we supposed to just stay stagnant? Never reach for growth or change or momentum? Of course not. But I would love to invite you to reflect on your own relationship with goals. And your own personal definition of success.

If our definition of success rests on an outcome we can’t control – we will never be successful. That’s sounds pretty bleak. But if we can recalibrate, and realign for ourselves who we want to be as an actor and a human – and actively work to show up more and more as that person: success will be possible. Furthermore – I believe success will be inevitable.

In his early chapters of Atomic Habits, James unpacks all the ways we can shift our thinking from a short term, one-time achievement (a goal) and into maintaining a lifelong process for success (a habit).

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.… It doesn't matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path towards success.”

- James Clear - Atomic Habits

When I started doing this reframing, I realized a lot of this meant redefining what success looked like for me. I realized my work wasn’t about hustling more. It was about showing up – and celebrating the really small things. Finding ways to honor the work – for its own sake. I had to learn how to find more joy in the process – and get less attached to the outcome.

When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running” - James Clear - Atomic Habits

Five years after I first picked up his book – Atomic Habits still resonates. If we can’t find joy in the process – we become limited by our destination happiness. We wait for the ‘big thing’ to happen before we allow ourselves to be happy. And if the big thing never happens? We just sit in our misery. Will f*ck that. Life is too short to live in that kind of unhappiness.

RECONNECT WITH YOUR WHY

I got into this work because I love it. Because it lights me up inside. Because I feel most authentic when I am acting. And because I feel called to make the world a better place by doing it. None of that has anything to do with the agent I have or my last booking. And I know deep down – when I am tapped into that kind of unbridled joy – the outcome doesn’t matter.

It’s a small shift – but it’s an important one. The small act of accepting I can’t control outcomes – without becoming jaded or defeated – has transformed me as an actor. I think about all the energy I’ve wasted on comparing my journey to others – all the hustling for validation – and it is such a relief to let that sh*t go. And when I stop wasting fruitless energy on outcomes – I now have all this energy to take care of my body, my mind, my heart – and my creative child. This has been such a valuable reminder that I deserve to feel my joy and happiness right now. Not because I’ve met a goal, or accomplished some externally validating achievement; but because I’ve found a way to show up for myself.

That’s the real work. Not booking the gig or landing auditions—but rather – training and preparing myself to show up fully – to let myself be seen – and learn consistency and care – regardless of the outcome.

INVITATION TO REALIGN

This is why I adore thinking of the new year as an opportunity to realign and recalibrate. And to build the habit for making these small shifts all year round. We don’t have to wait for a new year to get reflective. We don’t have to push, and hustle, and fight so damn hard before we finally allow ourselves to take a break.

I want to invite you – dear friend, to grant yourself permission to stop. To take all this beautiful fresh start energy – and let it live in the small quiet ways you show up for yourself. We burn out when we run with a flame too fast – when we rush to the end – when we live in the scarcity and fear. But when we are gentle, we can feed that little flame day by day. Helping it grow gradually. Learning when to step back – and when to move forward. I want you to invite ease into your world. And I promise – when you no longer are hustling for outcomes you can’t control – you will have so much more energy to be the beautiful, creative, storyteller that you already are.

Warmly,